First, there’s a great FB user group if you’re interested in things like kids being independent. It’s sponsored by letrow.org.
After the music festival post a few days ago, somebody asked how my partner and I navigate issues where the four year-old might feel like she needs to wander off from the other two kids. Here’s what’s worked for the gang so far:
At the start of the year, right after her birthday, I probably wouldn't have let the 4 y.o. wander off with her sibs. We do a couple of different things as far as practice and prep. When the four year-old was three, she wasn't allowed to go with her sibs. She and I would wander the neighborhood while they walked the dog though. She got to pick the directions to go, and we talked all about the things we saw. I think that's how she began to learn about landmarks. Since she's been four, she has been allowed to go on the dog walks, which have been getting progressively longer. I asked the big kid, (the eight year-old), to report back if the four year-old didn't stick kinda close, and especially if she didn't want to follow instructions while crossing the street. Most recently, when the 8 and 6 y.o. were away at camp, I asked the 4 y.o. to navigate downtown for me. She'd take me from the BART station to one of our hangouts, like the library a block away, or the pub five blocks away. Since she was handling it really well, it seemed like it was time. Also, the gang has been practicing independence in one infinitesimal form or another since they learned to walk, and I think that helped:
On the wandering away side of things, I've talked to the gang a lot about hanging with each other and that they all occasionally having different interests. It's been work for them, but they're learning how to work with each other so they all get to see all of the things
The other thing we did was to discuss the stakes with all of them. We talk about the positive side: if they stick together, they get to keep doing stuff like this; and the negative side: if one of them is found alone, the chances an adult is going to call the cops go way, way up.
I guess one last note is I've tried to talk to them about eventualities that might come up as well. There are days that don't work as well. One of the kids will get frazzled or scrape a knee and refuse to keep going. In the frazzled case where a kids just gets frustrated and starts hollering, they have instructions to just come back period. In the case of an injured kid, one of the kids stays with the kid with the skinned knee, (or whatever), and the other comes back for help.
So far, it's all worked out well. :)
After the music festival post a few days ago, somebody asked how my partner and I navigate issues where the four year-old might feel like she needs to wander off from the other two kids. Here’s what’s worked for the gang so far:
At the start of the year, right after her birthday, I probably wouldn't have let the 4 y.o. wander off with her sibs. We do a couple of different things as far as practice and prep. When the four year-old was three, she wasn't allowed to go with her sibs. She and I would wander the neighborhood while they walked the dog though. She got to pick the directions to go, and we talked all about the things we saw. I think that's how she began to learn about landmarks. Since she's been four, she has been allowed to go on the dog walks, which have been getting progressively longer. I asked the big kid, (the eight year-old), to report back if the four year-old didn't stick kinda close, and especially if she didn't want to follow instructions while crossing the street. Most recently, when the 8 and 6 y.o. were away at camp, I asked the 4 y.o. to navigate downtown for me. She'd take me from the BART station to one of our hangouts, like the library a block away, or the pub five blocks away. Since she was handling it really well, it seemed like it was time. Also, the gang has been practicing independence in one infinitesimal form or another since they learned to walk, and I think that helped:
On the wandering away side of things, I've talked to the gang a lot about hanging with each other and that they all occasionally having different interests. It's been work for them, but they're learning how to work with each other so they all get to see all of the things
The other thing we did was to discuss the stakes with all of them. We talk about the positive side: if they stick together, they get to keep doing stuff like this; and the negative side: if one of them is found alone, the chances an adult is going to call the cops go way, way up.
I guess one last note is I've tried to talk to them about eventualities that might come up as well. There are days that don't work as well. One of the kids will get frazzled or scrape a knee and refuse to keep going. In the frazzled case where a kids just gets frustrated and starts hollering, they have instructions to just come back period. In the case of an injured kid, one of the kids stays with the kid with the skinned knee, (or whatever), and the other comes back for help.
So far, it's all worked out well. :)
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