Tuesday, October 25, 2016

Why More Hunters should Parent, and More Parents should Hunt: Part I

Little if any mention is made of hunting in modern parenting literature, but it is, to put it simply, the fastest path to parental bliss.  Hunting teaches the patience, confidence, and self-sufficiency so critical to raising young ones in today’s urban wild.  

My hunting buddy and I were moving at a classic stalking pace.  She’d take a. step, mirrored by mine; we’d pause for a few seconds taking stock of our surroundings; then, carefully placing our next step, we’d watch our quarry while again taking time to register changes in our surroundings.  Our prey, stock-still, never moved.  One would have expected, what with all the noise of passing cars and ambling passers-by, that it might have bolted.  It held steady though.  A few minute later, Diana, my hunting companion and one-year-old daughter, gleefully giggled as we overtook our target: a young, at least judging by its short stature, set of stairs that led to a door stoop.  Diana spent the next several minutes wobbling first up, and then down the stairs.

Attachment Parenting and Hunting:

Attachment parenting, incumbent with its mysterious vernacular, can seem daunting, but in reality it’s the hunting parent's best friend.  For those more familiar with hunting than parenting, ‘attachment parenting’ is the interesting theory that your children will--paradoxically perhaps--be more independent later in life--once they’ve reached walking age--if they spend their early lives literally strapped to you at all times.  Attachment parenting zealots are not so different from deer hunting fanatics.  While the ‘gone-native’ deer hunter will drench themselves in the pee of their quarry and then stand naked downwind of wet-wood fires to absorb the natural smells of the area in hopes local deer will be unaware of their presence, so the attachment parenting zealot will encourage you to strip off your shirt, strip your baby naked,(with the possible exception of their nethers), and then strap the little tyke to your bare chest for the proper bonding experience.  While attachment parenters don’t specifically mention soaking yourself in the urine of your young, don't worry, that too will come in time.

For a hunter, the beauty of attachment parenting comes in the latitude you’re afforded when preparing for an outing.  You’ll find packing very similar to what you might do when embarking on an all day stalk.  You take only what you can carry, and then only what you can carry quietly and compactly: your gun, (read baby) strapped over your back, (to your chest); a small pack containing only the essentials: perhaps an additional layer of warm dry clothing, (diapers in our context); a few light snacks; of course the essential tools of the trade (read baby wipes, diapers, and produce bags); and perhaps some water, unless of course, you’ll be getting that from snow melt (coffee shops and water fountains).... End Part I

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