Copasetic Flow

We had a cozy, welcoming local coffee shop in the little college town we lived in when the kids started arriving.  It was a large two story affair with an outdoor patio. All sorts of different mugs decorated the walls.  You’d pick out a mug, tell the kid tending the counter what you wanted, and they’d make it in your chosen vessel.  This adorable little hangout is one of the first places the gang learned how to head out on their own to work on things they wanted. When 8 y.o. No. One was almost three, she, her little brother—still in the wrap, snuggled into my chest—and I would go there.  The place had a water dispenser, one of those ceramic arrangements with a plastic jug sticking inverted out the top of it.  It had a spicket on the bottom with a lever that you pushed down for water.  A stack of paper cups sat next to it so you could have a drink of water along with your coffee.  The kid was fascinated with the thing.  She could reach the cup...

I get a big kick out of the 8, 6, and 4 year-old kids here being as independent as they are.  It’s fun to watch them accomplish things on their own.  The look of pride they have in their own abilities makes me happy.  Knowing that they can do things on their own makes my world less stressful and more free.  Their independence also makes all of our lives more convenient.  They’re starting to learn how to get around town on their own on public transit, so they can get to the things they want to do without me.  They're all developing different interests, so it's great that each of them is pleased as can be doing things on their own without their sibs, my partner and I.  All of this lets them do and experience more.  They also help me with errands we need to get done for the whole family.  Their ability to roam out, free away from me, means they can take care of some of our shopping tasks while I take care of others. They’ve all been practicing...

I'm a huge fans of unsupervised outdoor play.  I had yet another great experience with it during our camping trip over the last weekend. The kids headed out early in the morning with their nanny to get our campsite setup. Since they’re able to get there early, we're usually able to get a tent site, even during the busy summer months.  The days, the kids haul their own sleeping bags and the tent.  When they arrived, they set up the tent, (the nanny doesn’t know how), put their backpacks inside to anchor it, and then headed out for a  five mile hike into the nearest little town at the bottom of the mountain.  (The place the raptor class took place as a matter of fact.) LetGrow.org has a great  interview about the value of free, outdoor play . That afternoon, I met the gang in the same little town, took over from the nanny, and we all headed back up to the campsite via public bus line.  By the time we arrived back at the campground, the wind had tumbl...

I often see the question, what do people do on long road trips to avoid too much screen time for kids?  First, a disclaimer.  I have no personal druthers about screentime one way or the other.  I think whatever works best for each family works best.  We, missed the screentime issue by simple circumstance.  When the kids came, we were poor grad students; too poor to afford screens.  Consequently, we’ve just never had them. So, what do we do on road trips without screens?  One of the answers is libraries!  (Actually an article in the New York Times a few days back, commenting on the rising popularity of libraries is what made me think of all this.)  On our latest cross-country road trip, our yearly two-week camping trip, we stopped at about a library a day.  They were delightful!  We go to read a little.  We used their free WiFi to keep up with communications as we went.    The kids read, they played with toys, they m...

This one’s kinda silly, but what are blogs for right?  I’m rewatching season 5 of The Flash with the gang.  And episode 4, ooooh, episode 4….  It’s driving me nuts.  It did when I watched the first time without the kids, and now that I’ve watched it with the kids, I’ve gotta say, the one parenting scene just rings untrue.  Spoilers below: OK, here’s the setup, Flash and Iris’ adult kid, Nora aka XS, has come back from the future to visit her parents before she was born.  She did it using her super-speed of course because The Flash’s kid.  You might wonder if the thing that rings untrue for me is the time travel, what with all the physics I used to write about.  It’s not. In fact, Dr. Ronald Mallett, has shown that mathematically at least, time travel into the past is possible.  Was his work peer-reviewed?  Yep!  It’s legit.  Since then, he’s been trying to build such a machine.  To Legion of Superhero Fans, yup, i...

First, there’s a great FB user group if you’re interested in things like kids being independent .  It’s sponsored by letrow.org .  After the music festival post a few days ago, somebody asked how my partner and I navigate issues where the four year-old might feel like she needs to wander off from the other two kids.  Here’s what’s worked for the gang so far: At the start of the year, right after her birthday, I probably wouldn't have let the 4 y.o. wander off with her sibs.  We do a couple of different things as far as practice and prep.  When the four year-old was three, she wasn't allowed to go with her sibs.  She and I would wander the neighborhood while they walked the dog though.  She got to pick the directions to go, and we talked all about the things we saw.  I think that's how she began to learn about landmarks.  Since she's been four, she has been allowed to go on the dog walks, which have been getting progressively longer. ...

Random Strewing: Letting the World Strew for You As an unschooling parent, I strew. For those new to the whole world of unschooling, strewing means putting out things, books, games, art materials, whatever that you think unschooling kids might find interesting.  It’s like an educational slush fund.  Sometimes the kids get interested, sometimes they don’t.   I’ve also found though that the world at large is happy to do the strewing for us.  This week, the gang, (8 y.o. No. One, 6 y.o. No. Two, and 4 y.o. No. Three), went on a three-mile hike through a forest to a nearby beach town.  They’d been on the hike dozens of times before.  It winds down a steep ravine with redwoods hurtling out of the ground on both sides.  The forest off the trail is lush with ferns, moss, and other undergrowth.  They frequently find banana slugs, sometimes see quail, and once in awhile, spot a deer.  When they crusie into town, they visit the local librar...